Cheer up! Laugh! 

Step back from the noise and let a child tell you how (Article 2)

I recently stayed with our daughter and her family.. Eddie is now six and his younger sister is 2¾ years old. They made me laugh and brought me back to the simple things in life in an instant.

As a writer I always have my little book with me ready to jot down sentences and ideas, so whenever they said something funny or odd I’d scribble a few lines to remind me later.

As so many people enjoyed the first article in this series, I thought you’d like to spend time with my lovely grandchildren again.

So, forget any woes, just read on …


OLD AT 18?

My 6-year-old Grandson was pulling his hair back painfully tight from his forehead.

EDDIE    "Grandma” he asked looking rather strange as even his young skin was joining the journey backwards.   “Do I look bald?"

ME:          “Not really, why do you want to look bald?"

EDDIE:   "Yes, you've got to be bald like Daddy to be a man!" (His Daddy is not bald; he’s only receding a little)

ME:          "No you haven't Eddie, not all men are bald. John isn't bald." (John is his Daddy’s 16-year-old brother)

EDDIE:   "John who? I don't know anyone called John."

ME:          "Yes, you do, Uncle John."

EDDIE:   "Oh, he's not a proper man. I want to be old, really old, so I need to be bald."

ME:          "How old do you want to be?"

EDDIE:   "Oh at least 18."



I was driving along with my two and a half year old granddaughter sitting in the back of the car when suddenly the skies opened and the rain was so heavy it was as though we were sat in a washing machine. I pulled over and stopped the car.

MELISSA:      “Grandma! Grandma! Look at that.” (She was pointing to the front windscreen where the gallons of rain was very noisily beating down).

ME:                 “The rain will pass over in a minute, you’ll see.”

MELISSA:      “Don’t worry Grandma. I’m here.”

ME:                 “That’s good.”

MELISSA:      “And yes, you mustn’t worry about the windscreen. Look it can’t get in. Those ‘wind-washers’ will knock it away.” 



EDDIE:           “Grandma, in a war does a soldier have a first aid kit?”

ME:                 “Um …probably.” (I had a mind to the next question if I went into too much detail)

EDDIE            “A second aid kit?”

ME:                 “I’ve never heard of a second aid kit.”

EDDIE:           “Never heard of it!”

ME:                 “No. What’s in it?”

EDDIE:           “Chocolate to make you run faster.”

ME:                 (trying not to laugh).  “Oh.”

EDDIE:           “Of course it makes you better too. Well, maybe.”



I had just read Melissa her bedtime story and was ready to kiss her goodnight.

MELISSA:      “Grandma, are you sleeping at my house tonight?”

ME:                 “Yes, Grandad and I are staying here for a few days.”

MELISSA:      “Yeah! Good. Are you sleeping in your bed tonight.” (Melissa thinks of the bed in the spare room as being mine I think.)

ME:                 “Yes.”

MELISSA       “You could sleep in my bed if you want?”

ME:                  “No, this is your bed. There isn’t room for two people.”

MELISSA:       “I know. I know.” (Her excitement was obvious). ‘But, why don’t you sleep under my bed? You could have one of my teddies to cuddle then.”



EDDIE:           “Do you have any medicine?”

ME:                 “What kind of medicine?”

EDDIE:           “Get well medicine Grandma.” (I suppose I did ask a silly question)

ME:                 “What’s the matter, don’t you feel very well?”

EDDIE:           (he sort of changes the subject) “Well, you see if you hide one teaspoon of get well medicine, it turns into chocolate.”

Me:                  “Oh”

Eddie:            “But Grandma, it doesn’t happen quickly. You’ve got to leave it a whole five minutes.”


EDDIE:           “How old are you Grandad?”

GRANDAD:   “I’m twenty-one.”

EDDIE:           “My Mum’s is older than you.” (His Mum is our daughter)

GRANDAD:   “Is she? How old is she?”

EDDIE:           “She’s very very old. She’s at least 40.” 

GRANDAD:   (He’s trying not to laugh)

EDDIE:           “But Grandad, I think you must be telling me little lies or you’ve forgotten how old you are.”

GRANDAD:   “I will whisper it to you Eddie. Don’t tell Grandma.” 

EDDIE:           “I won’t tell anybody Grandad.”

GRANDAD:   “I’m 68.”

EDDIE: (nodding seriously) “You can trust me.”